As you’ve probably guessed the last few months have been absolutely insane with a US trip, finishing/publishing “Becoming Martian”, as well as being a media ambassador for National Science Week… lets just say I’m finally catching up on a lot of well earned sleep. I’ve still got to write my two papers for the International Astronautical Congress before the end of next week, but the insanity of the last 6+ month suddenly feels likes it’s lifted.
Now that the pressure has eased a little though, there’s a temptation to start diving into new projects I’ve been eyeing off while I’ve been overwhelmed. If the last few years have taught me anything though, it’s that those “new” projects are usually just new incarnations of ideas and interests I’ve had for decades. So instead of charging off in a “new” direction again, I’m going to keep practicing the basics – writing each day, taking things as they come, working on more of what interests me while reducing my commitments to people and things that don’t support my core interests.
The last time I was in a similar headspace to this was the final weeks of 2015 – I’d left a job I was bored in, left an important but highly toxic relationship, and was getting ready to leave behind a shared house with a couple of exhausting personalities. Change was in the wind at the end of 2015 when I left Melbourne, just as it was in the wind after the 2012 Edinburgh Fringe when I discovered Mars One.
I don’t know what is coming in the next few months, but experience tells me it’ll be pretty damn big. I’m just grateful that I have the opportunity to catch my breath and smile more, the wisdom to embrace the quiet and practice better self-care, and know that amazing things are on the way – I just have to choose where my time and effort will be best utilised on what *I* know to be important. I had a really good idea of where that was in late 2015, and I’m glad that I’ve come full circle to an improved version of that now.
Full disclosure though, I have NO idea who the “Casual Partner” in New York is that I’ve blacked out in this journal entry. I clearly had high hopes in December 2015 that had vaporised by May 2016 – guess I’ll have to check the original journal when I’m back in Perth next!
Day 11,030 Monday 7/12/2015
Things are pretty damn good. You’ve let some of your better habits slip this year, but you’ve learnt so much in the process. Discovered where your limits are, what you excel at, who you should surround yourself with. It always gets better, and there are dips and peaks… but it’s always getting better, because you’re always learning. Always discovering more about the universe and about yourself, and always creating. Always doing. There’s a false dichotomy between ‘being’ & ‘doing’ – you are at your best at being WHEN you’re doing. You knew that at NYWF, and you’ve allowed yourself to forget that truth over the last year. No matter – you’ve rediscovered it now 🙂 And just in time too! You always have more to give, no matter the circumstance.
There’s an immense liberation knowing it’s all shifting. I can feel the river starting to flow again, and I’ve prepared myself with the lessons of this year. Amusing that my most challenging times have traditionally been Dec-April, with April 19th the turning point. But in 2016 I’ll be touring a new show through the same period, and on April 19 I’m likely to be in Cork or on a plane to Boston. Strange how things line up. Funny too that I’m already looking forward to seeing [Casual Partner] in New York – that promises to be extraordinary. So much of 2016 promises to be extraordinary, but you need to remember there are no ordinary moments. Things are always changing, always evolving, and there is always an opportunity to embrace joy and celebrate existence. You’re so fucking lucky to be here, and luckier still to have had the close calls you’ve had to appreciate it all. You’re changing the world every day, and everything you create has 100x the impact beyond what you see. We are winning. Not every battle, but we are winning because we’re moving with the flow of the universe, of the evolving & changing nature of our existence. Mars is progressively pushing further up into the public consciousness, and you’re both an ambassador and partly responsible for that. Just keep pushing. Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. You’re working towards expanding the limits of human existence, radically changing the way we see ourselves as a species – there will be growing pains & resistance. You need only persist. Don’t despair, don’t grow bitter when setbacks occur. You need only persist.