As you probably read from the earlier post about WOMADelaide, things have been pretty chaotic the last few weeks. I’m always amused by the strange cycles that these things seem to take – how I’ll swing from long stretches of quiet into intense periods that vary in length from weeks to months.
The tension and release is important, because while I’d love to just keep going and going and going, there needs to be time to stop and reassess what you’re doing too. It also seems partially disconnected from my own personal stability too: January and February may have been emotionally turbulent but they were also painfully quiet in terms of work. Meanwhile March has been both incredibly busy and absolutely amazing!
I know it’s difficult to process things when I’m on the road, but I’m getting better and better at being more self-contained: to carve out time regardless of where I am to process what’s happening, how I truly feel about it, and what I’m going to do next. Every time I pass through these different cycles I learn more about how to handle them best and a lot more about my self through the process of self-reflection at each point. If there’s one thing that regular journal writing has proven, it’s that there is so much to be learnt and understood by forcing yourself to articulate your thoughts on paper so they can be reviewed with a different mindset later.
Right now though we’re heading into an interesting phase where the next few months are incredibly filled with potential, yet there’s nothing solid to hang onto… yet. This journal entry is from a similar time in late 2014 where I had no idea what was coming next, yet I felt that something was on the horizon. Something I couldn’t see yet, and I was stumbling around trying to move towards it. The something that followed in the months after this entry was a whirlwind romance that changed my perspective on relationships, as well as a move to Melbourne. Both of which were the catalysts for “Cosmic Nomad”, and for setting me on the path that I’m on right now: living out of a bag, visiting schools, and editing a book!
My instincts tells me that the something on the horizon this time around is related to both science communication and Mars One, but only time will tell. Just like in 2014 it feels like the circle has closed, but this time I’m not tumbling – I know I just need to stay focused and take things as they come.
Exciting times ahead – ad astra per aspera!
Day 10,723 Tues 25/11/2014
Everything feels both exciting & completely unpredictable at the moment. A blend of the nostalgic, mundane & …. potential? It feels like the circle has closed and I’m tumbling – in unknown territory, stumbling in the dark as my mind tries to pull up ghosts from the past to guide me. But I don’t need the ghosts – they’re just echoes of times past, not lights to the future. All you can do right now is remain focused. Keep what’s important in the front of your mind, while simultaneously letting it all go. You need to create art: to write a book on Mars & have it published; create comedy shows that make people think & laugh. You need to share your stories with others: speak to kids & tell them it’s okay to fail as long as you pick yourself up again when you do; write a book of stories about bottoming out & saying “Not Today”
Be the guiding light. Fight, push, fall, scrape, fail & climb again. Not because you’re too full of pride to give up – because every day you’re breathing is another day to prove to others they are more powerful than they could possibly imagine. To be the reason others fight on, push, fall, scrape, fail & climb again. Because the service of one will always outweigh the selfishness of 10. Because you’re fucking lucky to be here at all, and will not waste your countless second chances to make the universe a little better than when you entered it.